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My hubby stopped initiating sex (8)

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DEAR Dra. Holmes (c­on­tinuation of May 13 letter)

Doc, I forgot to include in my letter to you that, When I finally told him that I felt like he no longer desired me, he said that it wasn’t that he no longer desired me (adding, in fact, that he still did).

He explained that it’s just that he enjoys sex more when it is spaced out. I pointed out that we used to have sex really often. It used to be more than thrice a week and then, when we got married, it had become less than thrice a month. And now, with the baby, it is even less!!

Abante Hiring – IT dep

He apologized and said he will make more of an effort. But, like I said in my original letter (that was published last Tuesday, May 15—MGSH) he would initiate once, maybe twice, then slowly he would go back to his usual not looking for sex.
Please help me, Doc!

–Jan

Dear Jan:

Maraming salamat sa sulat mo na una na­ting pinublish noong Mayo 15. Sa huling kolum natin noong nakaraan­g Martes, Mayo 29, sinabi ko na ang problema ng mas mababang sex drive (pagnanasa) ng asawa mo para sa iyo ay bumalik sa iyo in the sense that, wala ka na sigurong magagawa para tumaas pa ang kadalasan ng kaniyang pagsisimula (initiation) ng pagsisi­ping ninyo.

Malamang kaya niyang maging interesado sa sex kung ikaw ang magsimula nito, pero ang gusto mo rin ay siya ang magsi­mula nang mas maraming beses kaysa sa ginagawa niya ngayon.

Walang masama du’n. At wala ring masama kung hindi pareho ang pagnanasa ninyo para sa isa’t isa. Sa katotohanan lang, mas pangkaraniwan sa may asawa na iba ang kanilang pagnanais at pangangailangan ng sex.

Para sa iba, nagiging problema ito at maaari ring basehan ng pagka­hiwalay nila. Para sa mga iba naman, ok lang ito (kahit na mahirap matanggap) dahil mas ma­halaga ang ibang bahagi ng pagsasama nila.

Walang tama o maling reaksyon. Iba iba tayo sa pangangailangan ng sex. Minsan, mas mahalaga pa diyan, iba-iba rin tayo sa kahulugan nito sa ating buhay. Para sa iba, ang sex ay ‘sex lang’.

Pero para sa iba, ang sex ang pinakamahalagang patunay (proof) ng pagmamahal.

FINAL INSTALLMEN­T THIS WEEK

***

Si Dra. Holmes ay nagsusulat sa Abante tuwing Martes, Huwebes, at Sabado. Sun­dan siya sa Twitter, sulatan at i-LIKE sa Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/dr­margieholmes