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Am I normal? (2)

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Dear Dra Holme­s I am in my early 20s and an avid practitioner of BDSM. I have always been inclined to kink.

I got into a relationship with a man with whom I explored BDSM with. I taught him everything I wanted from a sexual partner. We had amazing sex, but our romantic life was toxic.

We were psychologically abusive to each other and ended our relationship. However, we have been having sex in secret so our friends don’t know we’re still in contact. It scares me that this kind of sex has so much sway over me. I cannot forgot it despite how toxic we are for each other.

Is there anyone who will accept my inclinations towards pain? I’m scared that I won’t find anyone I can grow with sexually. Am I normal?
Maribel

Dear Maribel:
Maraming sala­mat sa sulat mo na pinublish natin nang buo noong Lunes, Marso 18. Doon sinabi ko na normal ka, kahit na hindi mara­ming mga tao ay nalilibugan sa BDSM. Ang kahuligan ng BDSM ay bondag­e (tinatali ka), dominasyon (sinasabi sa iyo ano ang dapat at bawal gawin, sinisigawan at iniinsulto nang sukdulan), sadism (nalilibugan kung nananakit ng tao nang sukdulan) at masochism (nalilibugan kung sinasaktan nang sukdulan).

Sa katotohanan lang, normal ma-excite (malibugan) sa BDSM. Nagiging hindi normal kapag nananakit ka na ng tao sa ito o sinasaktan mo ang iyong sarili sa punto na mapanganib sa ibang tao o sa iyo.

Hanggang nga­yon, wala pa akong nabasa na mapa­nganib ang inyong BDSM na relasyon.
So, kahit na may hilig ka sa BDSM, normal ka pa sa iyong pagnanasa para rito.

Kung may mapanganib sa buhay mo, ito ay hindi ang pisikal pero ang sikolohikal. Kaya tama ka nang sinabi mo na (okay ang BDSM sa buhay ninyo pero) ang relasyong emosyonal at sikolohikal ay “toxic­.” To be continued…

***

Si Dra. Holmes ay nagsusulat sa Abante 3X a week. Sulatan sa Facebook si Dr. Marga­rita Holmes http://www.facebook.com/drmargieholmes. Panoorin siya sa Walang Echos sa Abante Tonite facebook tuwing Huwebes, 7 pm.

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